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Can your relationship survive an affair?

  • June 12, 2006
  • by PInow Staff

What to do if you think your lover is cheating

According to statistics, up to 85% of women and up to 50% of men who believe that their lover is cheating are proven to be right eventually. This means that if you have any suspicions about your partner's fidelity, you should consider doing something about it now. Unfortunately, your suspicions may be well-founded.

The first step: find out for sure

One of the best ways to find out the truth is to hire a private investigator. Private investigators have a wide range of surveillance techniques and equipment available to them that can help them find out the truth and can help bring you proof one way or the other. A private investigator is licensed to use e-mail tracing techniques, telephone number tracing, Internet activity tracking options and surveillance. An investigator can let you know if your spouse or lover is cheating and can provide details of infidelity.

If you find out the worst

If you have in fact found out that your significant other has cheated on you, your initial reaction may be one of rage or great sadness. It's not unusual, when betrayed, for motions to take a bit of a roller coaster ride. A professional investigator can help you through discretion and sensitivity. Once you know the truth, though, you have some real-life decisions to make.

Questions you need to ask yourself

Spouses and partners who have been cheated on often need to decide whether to try to rebuild the relationship or whether to leave the relationship. To start making this difficult decision, you might want to ask yourself some questions:

  • Am I willing to confront my partner? If a private investigator offers you proof of infidelity, you may wish to confront a partner with the evidence. Based on your partner's reaction, you can tell whether they wish to end the relationship or continue it. This can help you decide what you yourself wish to do.

  • Am I willing to put in the work required to repair the relationship? Repairing a relationship after an affair may include relationship counseling, many difficult discussions, and working through difficult feelings of rage, betrayal, depression, and isolation. If you're not willing to work at the relationship, it may simply be easier to walk away.

  • Am I willing to avoid assigning blame? One of the most difficult things to recapture after an affair is trust. If you don't feel that you can trust your partner again or don't feel that you can avoid blaming your significant other for the affair, you may not be ready to rebuild the relationship.

  • Am I still getting something from the relationship? There's no doubt that repairing a relationship after infidelity is difficult and painful. If you are not benefiting from the relationship, you may wish to ask yourself why you are in the relationship of the first place.

Once you have the truth about your partner and are ready to face it, you can start the process of making a decision about your relationship. Taking your time and considering all the options carefully can help you make the right decision, no matter what an investigation reveals about your significant other.

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