For most people in relationships, a commitment means no playing around, ever. That doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of love rats out there.

About one in five adults in monogamous relationships, or 22 percent, have cheated on their current partner. The rate is even higher among married men. And nearly half of people admit to being unfaithful at some point in their lives, according to the results of the MSNBC.com/iVillage Lust, Love & Loyalty survey.

More than 70,000 adults completed the online reader survey in February, answering about 30 questions that revealed their intimate feelings about adultery and what makes them stray or stay faithful.

Or are in-game chats and animated sex just harmless experiments?

Sam had met someone, and it was getting serious.

It started out as a friendship, as many relationships do. But gradually Sam’s feelings for Kat, a beautiful, smart and confident woman, had turned romantic.

Hang on — there’s a catch. Sam and Kat met in the virtual world Second Life. And although they shared all kinds of intimacies in Second Life, the real people have never laid eyes on each other.

Worried about why your partner is always working late? Suspicious about repeated hang-ups on the answer machine? Dismayed by a dwindling interest in sex?

It could be just job pressures, wrong numbers and a low libido, or your spouse could be cheating, according to author Robert C. DeMoulin who has written a new book, “Exposing Infidelity,” to help worried partners tell the difference.

For the past several months, I have been traveling around this country presenting training seminars on the subject of marriage counseling for couples with infidelity. The counselors, psychologists, social workers and clergy with whom I meet are alarmed about a double-barreled crisis threatening the American family.

Couples are telling therapists that they are drowning in a frenetic struggle to earn a living, raise a family and make ends meet. Both single-parent families and two-career couples — both affluent and working class — face burdens that they describe as overwhelming. What is most troubling is that the marriage or partnership is getting lost in this whirlwind of activity.

Can this marriage survive serial cheating? TODAY contributor offers tips

Kevin and Sue have been married for 11 years, but it hasn’t been wedded bliss. Kevin, a serial cheater, admits to having five affairs over the course of their marriage. Consequently, Sue no longer trusts him.  Enter Dr. Robi Ludwig, a psychotherapist and author who in the premiere of TLC’s “One Week to Save Your Marriage,” will counsel the couple. Kevin and Sue along with Ludwig were invited to appear on TODAY. Here is an article on infidelity and marriage written by Ludwig.

To love, honor and betray

If you’re married or in a serious relationship, listen up.

Tony DeLorenzo said he knows how to tell if a person is cheating and how to catch him or her in the act.

A private investigator for more than 25 years, DeLorenzo runs the Freehold, N.J.-based firm All State Investigations and the site www.infidelity.com.

DeLorenzo, whose company handles infidelity investigations nationwide, teamed up with his wife, Dawn M. Ricci, to write the workbook “28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse.” DeLorenzo, 49, talked about some of those signs, what you can do if you spot them and how to have a healthy relationship.

Online cheaters connect with other partners in cyberspace for adventures that range from erotic virtual encounters to basic flirting. While some don’t consider it cheating, many experts agree that online infidelity crosses the line – and can lead to real cheating in person.

Online cheating has many forms. Some internet users log onto online dating sites – or specifically, online dating sites designed especially for discreet married people – to meet someone in person. Many others simply flirt and have affairs online, without ever meeting the person they are speaking with.

What is online cheating?

Some justify “hot chats” as harmless fun, but this sort of behaviour has caused marital rifts – and has even lead to in-person affairs offline. At best, cybersex means that a partner starts spending time with someone besides their partner – time that can better be invested in the relationship. Since online flirting or online sex is simpler and fantasy-based, it can fuel desire even more, leading someone to seek a real-life affair. Of course, there is always the real possibility that the cheater’s partner will be upset and hurt when they find out about such online activity.

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Scorned spouses heal their marital wounds by venting their sadness, anger and self-pity in an online forum

Despite a tumultuous 14-year marriage, “Annemarie” believed she and her husband were finally turning a corner. As a couple, they weathered her husband’s bouts of alcoholism, his three stints in rehab, her multiple job lay-offs, and yet Annemarie felt her marriage was better for it.

“I was not going to fail at my marriage because I loved this man, and I thought there weren’t any problems that were insurmountable,” says the fortysomething mother of Great Kills.

Look out for the signs of an emotional affair. Emotional cheating can lead to a traditional affair, so keeping an eye out for the classic signs can help partners outwit pain down the road.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with a friendship. However, friendships do not involve the deception and the type of inappropriate emotional closeness that an emotional affair entails. Despite its name, an emotional affair can involve physical intimacy, although it does not always. What this type of infidelity always dishes out, though is pain: pain caused by a partner who invests more emotionally into another relationship.

Emotional affairs involve someone who builds an inappropriately intimate relationship with someone outside their partnership. This may mean that a husband suddenly starts confiding all his personal and work-related problems to a female co-worker rather than his wife. It could also mean a wife suddenly confiding all her successes and desires to a new male friend rather than her husband. An emotional affair is usually also marked by secrecy – a partner may downplay or outright lie about the amount of time spent with a new partner. Sexual attraction is almost always part of the equation, too, although it is not always acted upon.

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For a married individual, there is nothing worse than experiencing the feeling that eats away at you when you suspect that your better half is turning to another for attention.

Whether you see the common signs, find clues or want to relieve the paranoia, there are ways to get to the bottom of this lingering mistrust without letting your partner know your intentions. One of the best and most discreet approaches to this matter is to enlist the help of a wireless camera. Catching a cheating spouse has never been easier.

Throughout the years, hidden cameras have caught countless cheating wives and husbands. Many users enjoy the freedom of being the only ones to catch their spouses in the act, eliminating the usual hiring of a private investigator. Hidden cameras are safe and do not entail a stranger following your loved one wherever he or she goes. They are also very easy to use and are only detected when your significant other uses a hidden camera detector, which is highly unlikely.

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