France is famous for its relaxed attitude to affairs of the heart (and loins). Unlike in the Anglo-Saxon world, the existence of extra-marital affairs — from the fictional Madame Bovary to former President Francois Mitterrand — is taken for granted there. French men even have a term for their mistresses: Le cinq á sept (the 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.). Now French adulterers are being offered a discreet and tailor-made service to help them indulge in their dalliances without getting caught.

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A study finds that infidelity can be a form of emotional violence that leaves betrayed partners with the same symptoms as an abusive partnership. Finding out the facts and acting on the cheating early may help the healing process.

A study conducted by Monash University in Melbourne, Australia finds that infidelity may have more in common with physical and psychological abuse than anyone has previously thought. The study conducted interviews with men and women affected by extramarital affairs and found that unfaithful partners share many of the same characteristics as abusive partners: they show little regard for their betrayed partner, and they experience the same guilt and remorse as abusers do after their cheating. Betrayed partners display many of the same characteristics as abused persons, the study concluded. Betrayed spouses may experience anxiety, an inaccurate perception of reality, depression, and poor self-esteem.
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Spouse Busters is here.

One of the newest businesses in Australia is going to spring cheating partners in the act.

In an Australian first, Spouse Busters, a team of private investigators has set up business with the mission of outing cheating partners.
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Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller, Peter Cook did it to Christie Brinkley, Kate Hudson reportedly did it to Chris Robinson and rumors have been flying recently about whether New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez is doing it to his wife, Cynthia.

But infidelity isn’t just confined to rich and famous, and experts say it has a lot to do with … temperature. Flings, they say, are a summer thing.

“Warmer weather has a huge impact on our hormones,” says Patrick Wanis, a relationship expert for Playboy Radio and Cosmopolitan magazine. “Summer is the most sensual and erotic time of the year. We show more skin, we’re emotionally more open and there are many more social and vacation opportunities to be led astray.”

Q: My partner of three years and I have a 1-year-old child; there have never been any issues of infidelity on either part. However, I recently discovered that he has a secret email address. Although I don’t have the password to get in to the account, I was able to find out the pass code to change his password in order to gain access. I know that breaking into his account poses huge moral issues, as well as trust issues, but I can’t get this out of my mind. What should I do? - Curious and Confused

A: Having the means doesn’t give a licence to cross boundaries. Nor do you have any evidence of his wrongdoing. You could’ve picked up a phone extension to monitor his calls, steamed open letters addressed only to him, even followed him to work every day to see if that’s where he really goes. But you didn’t because “there have never been any issues of infidelity.”

Meanwhile, his secret email address could be a holdover from the past – a private address he’s never bothered to change; or maybe it’s the one he uses to vent frustration with his buddies. Ask him, if you feel you must.

I saw a very interesting article in Friday’s USA Today that discussed business travel and infidelity. The author, Gary Stoller, quoted an anonymous salesman discussing an apparent widespread dictum called the “1,000 Mile Rule” – “Within 1,000 miles of home, you play by the rules and don’t fool around, but beyond 1,000 miles you can do whatever you want.”

E-mail me if you have ever heard such a rule. It is a new one for me.

The article described the temptations of traveling due to the following factors … No. 1 “there is a freedom from the spouse’s scrutiny and home responsibilities,” No. 2 “there are more opportunities to meet new people” and No. 3 “there is a near constant availability of alcohol at after-hour-meals and social events.”

If you are a road warrior, do not think that you are immune to an affair. If your spouse travels a great deal on business it would also be a mistake to think that they are incapable of cheating while on the road. Opportunity + Alcohol = Trouble!

Melissa cheats on her husband on business trips but not in her hometown. “That would be lethal,” she says.

Like many frequent business travelers, she uses the protection of the road to live a secret life of romance far from spouses or partners. Their affairs range from one-night stands to relationships that last for years. They’re usually with a co-worker, a business associate or someone they encounter often during repeat visits to a city.

“Business travel creates an opportunity to cheat away from prying eyes,” says infidelity expert Ruth Houston, author of Is he Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs.